Panama's Hidden Gem: Adults-Only Paradise (Occidental Papagayo)
Panama's Hidden Gem: Occidental Papagayo - A Chaotic, Honest Review (Because Let's Be Real)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the Occidental Papagayo. Forget glossy brochures; this is the raw, unfiltered truth from someone who's actually survived a week there. This isn't just a review; it's a therapy session. And, spoiler alert: it involves a LOT of margaritas.
First Impressions: Arrival and Accessibility (Or Lack Thereof, Sometimes)
Getting to the Occidental Papagayo is…well, let's call it an adventure. The airport transfer (I’m sure you can arrange something—they mention Airport transfer in the list above, duh) was smooth, thankfully. The coastal road, though, that’s a whole other story. Winding, breathtaking, and, frankly, terrifying if you're prone to motion sickness. I’m not (brag), but my inner monologue was screaming "HOLD. ON."
Accessibility: Now, here’s where things get a bit…tricky. They do mention "Facilities for disabled guests." And, bless their hearts, the hotel has an elevator. But navigating the grounds is a bit of a hike in places. Expect some slopes and uneven surfaces. I'm mobile right now, but if you require serious wheelchair accessibility, double-check and ask specific questions. Don't leave it to chance.
Rooms: Oasis or Overlooked? (And Does the Air Con Work?)
Okay, the rooms. Available in all rooms: Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens.
In my room, it was a solid, relatively luxurious experience. That king-sized bed? Heavenly. The blackout curtains? Essential for sleeping off those aforementioned margaritas. The Wi-Fi? Free and (mostly) functional. Though, again, I had to switch the provider once. As for the air conditioning, yes, thankfully, it did work, but it sometimes had that "is it really on?" moment, which can get old quickly, especially after a day baking in the Costa Rican sun. Let's be honest, though--you aren't really going to hang out in the room all day.
Cleanliness and Safety: Sanitized or Scandalous? (My Germaphobe Tendencies Activate)
Anti-viral cleaning products, Breakfast takeaway service, Cashless payment service, Daily disinfection in common areas, Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit, Hand sanitizer, Hot water linen and laundry washing, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Shared stationery removed, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment
Okay, let’s be real: I’m a total clean freak. And frankly, the Occidental Papagayo did a decent job, considering everything. The rooms were sanitized between stays, I could see the staff cleaning diligently, and there was hand sanitizer everywhere. The dining setup was… well, it felt safe. Tables spaced apart, safe dining setup, and the staff seemed well-trained. I didn’t get sick, and that's a win in my book! I appreciate all the efforts to provide a safe environment, and they certainly did their best.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: From Buffet Bliss to Midnight Munchies
A la carte in restaurant, Alternative meal arrangement, Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Bar, Bottle of water, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Desserts in restaurant, Happy hour, International cuisine in restaurant, Poolside bar, Restaurants, Room service [24-hour], Salad in restaurant, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant
Alright, the food. This is where things get…interesting. The buffet… oh the buffet. Breakfast was a highlight – the Western breakfast (eggs, bacon, pastries galore!) was a godsend after those late nights. Asian cuisine was also available and very tasty, and the Coffee/tea in restaurant was a must in the morning. The Poolside bar, well, that was dangerous. Happy hour had me hooked. (Multiple times. Don't judge.) The a la carte restaurants? Hit or miss. Some dishes were divine; others were…forgettable. The Bottle of water came in handy, and I'm very glad they provided it. The Room service [24-hour] was a lifesaver after one particularly boisterous karaoke night. I took full advantage of the late-night snacking on more than one occasion.
Things to Do (Besides Drink): Relax, Pamper, and Maybe Sweat a Little
Body scrub, Body wrap, Fitness center, Foot bath, Gym/fitness, Massage, Pool with view, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]
Body wrap – I have to admit, I finally did a body wrap! It was heavenly. Massage A must, absolutely a must. The masseuse was an angel, and the Spa/sauna… well, that's where I almost fell asleep. Gym/fitness - ok I am one of those people who says they'll workout and then they don't. But it was there and looked pretty decent for those who are into that. Swimming pool - The pool was great, especially with that view. I loved swimming at night.
Services and Conveniences: What They Do, and What They Don't
Air conditioning in public area, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center
The Daily housekeeping was excellent, and the staff were friendly. A Doorman was there as well. The Concierge was very helpful with restaurant recommendations and local excursions. I took advantage of the Laundry service, (after I spilled something on my favorite shirt, duh!) There’s a Convenience store for those late-night cravings (hello, more snacks!). The Smoking area was far, far away from my room, thank God! The Cash withdrawal was convenient, and the Safety deposit boxes gave me a sense of security.
Getting Around: Airport Transfers and Beyond
Airport transfer, Bicycle parking, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Taxi service, Valet parking
They'll arrange your Airport transfer, which I recommend. Free Car park [free of charge] means your rental car is well taken care of. Taxis are easily available.
For the Kids (Or Lack Thereof): Adults Only, Baby!
Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal
This is an adults-only resort. So, no worries about screaming kids ruining your peace. Bliss. Pure, unadulterated bliss. Though I did see some Family/child friendly amenities for those interested!
The Verdict: Is It Worth It?
Look, the Occidental Papagayo isn't perfect. It's got its quirks, its rough edges, and moments where you might question your life choices. But that's part of its charm. It’s a place to relax, to indulge, to escape the real world, and to maybe, just maybe, make some questionable decisions.
My heart skipped a beat when I saw the phrase "Adults-Only Paradise" in the title! Imagine being able to be selfish and not worry about anything else. I recommend coming to this hotel!
Here’s My Unfiltered Persuasive Offer:
Tired of the Chaos? Escape to Paradise at Occidental Papagayo!
**Tired of the daily grind? Ready to trade the office for the ocean? Craving an escape that
Escape to Paradise: Unbelievable Luxury Awaits at Quality Hotel Manaus!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to get messy with a trip to the Occidental Papagayo. Forget that meticulously planned, Instagram-perfect itinerary. This is real life, people. This is going to be all-inclusive chaos, and I, for one, am here for it.
Occidental Papagayo - Adults Only - All Inclusive - Messy Traveler Edition
Day 1: Arrival and Mild Panic (aka, "Where Did My Sunscreen Go?!")
- 8:00 AM: Flight from [City, where I'm from]. Let's be honest, this already started messy. Woke up late, almost missed the shuttle to the airport. Found my passport just inches from the dog's mouth. (The dog, bless him, seems to have a taste for travel documents.) Ate a questionable airport breakfast burrito. Regret already setting in.
- 12:00 PM: Arrive at Liberia Airport (LIR). Hot. Instantly sweaty. Where. Is. My. Sunscreen?! Checked luggage is likely arriving in Panama… or maybe Iceland? This is the official kickoff to my vacation, so let's kick it off with something important. I can't find my sunscreen!!
- 1:30 PM: Shuttle to Occidental Papagayo. The drive is a blur of lush greenery and the faint odor of exhaust fumes. I'm already starting to wonder if I brought enough books. (Spoiler alert: I didn't.)
- 3:00 PM: Arrive at the resort. Check-in… actually, smooth sailing! The staff is all smiles, which is a good start. But I didn't bring enough cash for tips. Already regretting my life choices.
- 3:30 PM: Room reveal! (It's a Junior Suite, if you must know.) And it's… perfect. Panoramic view of the Pacific, crisp air, a king-sized bed that's calling my name. But the minor details of the room were just okay. Shower pressure? A trickle. No big deal.
- 4:00 PM: Commence the real work - unpacking, assessing the minibar (important!), and trying to find my sunscreen. Still no luck. Panic level: Moderate.
- 5:00 PM: First cocktail at the pool bar. Mango Daiquiri. Absolutely divine. I'm starting to understand why people love all-inclusives. The sun is setting, painting the sky in fiery hues, and I'm officially on vacation. Sunscreen crisis temporarily forgotten.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at the buffet. Oh, the buffet! A glorious smorgasbord of questionable choices. I've decided to embrace the chaos. Ate three plates: one salad, one plate of mixed meats, and one small plate of pasta. Also tried a fishy, oddly-flavored soup.
- 8:30 PM: Entertainment. Honestly, I can't remember what the show was. Dancing? Singing? Something blurry and loud. But hey, free entertainment!
- 9:30 PM: Bedtime. Early night. Exhaustion from travel, alcohol, and existential dread about lacking sunscreen.
Day 2: Beach Bliss (and a Near-Death Experience with a Sea Turtle)
- 7:00 AM: Wake up with the sun (or maybe the relentless chirping of a toucan?). Coffee on the balcony. Ahhh. This is the life. I found my sunscreen!
- 8:00 AM: Breakfast at the buffet. Again. This time, I went straight for the omelet station. That omelet was pretty amazing.
- 9:00 AM: Beach time! The sand is warm, the waves are gentle, and the water is crystal clear. The sun is scorching, so I'm happy.
- 9:30 AM: Snorkeling. The coral reefs are a vibrant explosion of color, and I saw a dazzling array of fish. Okay, but not as dazzling as the sea turtle. We were swimming in the same spot and I felt it as the turtle passed under me. The sheer size of it! It was a humbling experience, and honestly, pretty terrifying. (I'm not a strong swimmer, okay?)
- 11:00 AM: Back to the beach for more sunbathing and book-reading. I'm tackling "Moby Dick." Big mistake. I'm feeling overwhelmed.
- 12:30 PM: Lunch at the beach bar. Burgers and fries. Basic, delicious.
- 2:00 PM: Back to the pool. Another margarita. Another book chapter. Happy, tipsy, content.
- 4:00 PM: Nap time. The best part of the day.
- 6:00 PM: Another buffet dinner. I'm starting to feel like a professional buffet-goer.
- 7:30 PM: More entertainment. More blur. Possibly a magician. I'm not sure.
- 9:00 PM: Bedtime. Feeling pleasantly sun-kissed, sand-filled, and slightly buzzed.
Day 3: Excursions and Existential Crises
- 8:00 AM: Wake up. Breakfast, as usual.
- 9:00 AM: Excursion to Rincon de la Vieja National Park. This is what I came for! The volcano is huge. Hiked through the rainforest. Saw monkeys! Felt like a real explorer.
- 11:00 AM: Mud bath. Okay, so it was a bit… muddy. My skin feels amazing!
- 12:00 PM: Horseback riding. I'm terrified of horses. Turns out, I'm not a natural rider. I almost fell off. Twice. But the scenery was unreal!
- 2:00 PM: Lunch at a local restaurant. Delicious traditional Costa Rican food! Casado – rice, beans, plantains, meat, salad. Absolutely needed to refuel!
- 3:00 PM: The drive back to the resort. My butt aches. I'm also starting to realize I've been consuming way too much food and drink.
- 4:00 PM: Pool time. Another margarita. Existential crisis. Am I wasting my life? Should I quit my job and become a professional margarita-drinker? No, probably not.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at… you guessed it… the buffet. I'm starting to see a pattern.
- 7:30 PM: Trying to watch a movie on my room's TV. No luck. My hotel room entertainment system isn't very useful.
- 9:00 PM: Bedtime. Feeling exhausted, slightly sunburned, and deeply in need of a good book.
Day 4: Departure (and the Quest for the Perfect Souvenir)
- 7:00 AM: Final breakfast. Feeling strangely sad about leaving.
- 8:00 AM: Packing. This is the worst part. I'm a terrible packer.
- 9:00 AM: Last-minute souvenir shopping. Trying to find something unique. Everything feels either cliché or overpriced. I bought a keychain. Hope it's better than my life decisions.
- 10:00 AM: One last swim in the pool. Saying goodbye to the sunshine.
- 11:00 AM: Check out. The resort! I'm going to miss you.
- 12:00 PM: Shuttle to the airport.
- 1:00 PM: Flight home.
- 4:00 PM : Getting back to my city.
- 5:00 PM: I had an amazing trip.
Final Assessment:
Would I go back to Occidental Papagayo? Absolutely. Despite the imperfections and the questionable buffet choices and the near-turtle-death experience, it was exactly what I needed. All-inclusive resorts aren't for everyone, but for a solo traveler who just wants to escape the mundane, they're perfect.
Final Thought: I need a vacation from my vacation.
Charlotte's BEST Home2 Suites? (I-77 South - Unbelievable!)
Occidental Papagayo: The "Adults-Only Paradise"? Let's Dive In (and I Mean, Literally... Sometimes)
Okay, Seriously, Is This Place *Really* Paradise? Like, Perfect Hammock-and-Piña-Colada Paradise?
Adults-Only… What Does That *Actually* Mean? Are We Talking *Really* Adults?
The Food… Dish the Dirt! Is It Worth the Trip (and the Extra Pounds)?
Let’s Talk Drinks. Are We Talking Endless, Bottomless Cocktails? Or Watered-Down Disappointments?
Okay, Beyond Drinking and Eating, What is There to *Actually* DO? Is it Just Lounging (which, let's be honest, sounds pretty good)?
The Rooms… Are We Talking Luxury? Or Something Else?
Let's Talk About the Overall Vibe. Is it Relaxed? Party-Hard? Sophisticated? Or Just… What?
Any Hidden Costs? Taxes? Tips? Are We Going to Get Nickel-and-Dimed?
So, Should I Go? Give me the Honest Verdict!
Comfort Zone Inn
