Escape to Paradise: 5-Star Luxury at Playa Del Carmen's Fives Hotel
Escape to Paradise… Or Maybe Just Playa Del Carmen? (My Surprisingly Honest Review of The Fives)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because you're about to get the REAL tea on The Fives Hotel in Playa Del Carmen. Forget your perfectly curated Instagram feeds – this is raw, unfiltered, and probably a little bit too much information. But hey, that's how I roll.
First Impressions & Getting There (The Accessibility Gauntlet!):
Let's be honest, the first thing I always check is Accessibility. I'm a bit of a mobility advocate (and let's just say, I appreciate an elevator). The Fives? Generally good, but not perfect. Elevators are plentiful (essential!), and there are ramps where they're needed. The Facilities for disabled guests are definitely present, which is a huge plus. However, I did spot a few areas where the terrain got a little… challenging, especially near the pools and the beach access. Be sure to confirm specific needs before booking, especially if you require full wheelchair accessibility. The Airport transfer was smooth enough (shout out to the driver!), but the journey felt… long. Just pack some patience and maybe a good audiobook.
Internet (Bless Their Hearts - Free in the Rooms!!):
Thank GOD for Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Seriously. One of the biggest modern miracles. Internet access – wireless and Internet access – LAN were also options, I think, but I was all about that sweet, sweet Wi-Fi. Because, let's be real, in the modern travel age, not having internet access feels like a personal attack.
Rooms & Amenities (Where the Paradise Starts - and Sometimes Ends):
Alright, my room! It was… nice. Let’s be real, very nice. The Air conditioning blasted like a hurricane (thank GOD, it's hot!), and those blackout curtains were a lifesaver for battling jetlag. Daily housekeeping was a godsend; my mess level is, let's just say, “artistically organized.” I made use of the extra long bed, which was a treat. The bathroom phone was a little… redundant in 2024, if I may be frank, but whatever. Other stuff? Bathtub, Shower, Towels, Slippers, Bathrobes, Hair dryer – all standard issue and exactly what you want after a long day wandering around. The Safe box? Used it religiously, because I am a paranoid individual.
The Pools, the Spa, and the "Relaxation" (My Attempt to be Zen):
Okay, this is where The Fives really shines. The multiple Swimming pools are stunning, especially the Pool with view (and the bar right next to it!). Spent a solid three hours floating around after the first day after the flight… total bliss. I even braved the Sauna and Steamroom in the spa. Sweaty as hell, but felt good after. And speaking of the spa… I succumbed to a Massage. Let me just say, it was heavenly. The therapist worked out knots I didn't even know I had. The Body scrub and Body wrap options were tempting, but I chickened out. Maybe next time. The Fitness center? I gave it a wide berth. Vacation is for relaxing, not torturing myself.
Food & Drink (My Personal Mission to Eat ALL the Things):
This is where things get… interesting. The Restaurants are plentiful, and the variety is impressive. Asian Cuisine, Western Cuisine, International Cuisine – they've got it all. The Breakfast [buffet] was a highlight. I mean, a buffet? A buffet is a vacation. Eggs, bacon, pastries… I went for it. Repeatedly. The Coffee/tea in restaurant were essential. The Poolside bar was dangerous (in a good way). Happy hour? Don’t even get me started. I highly recommend taking advantage of the Bottle of water in the room. The room service [24-hour] was a life saver when I accidentally overslept till 3 in the afternoon.
I'd also add my personal experience with the Vegetarian restaurant. This was actually great and I think is a must-visit.
Hygiene & Safety (Are We Safe?!):
Okay, let’s talk post-COVID. I noticed a lot of the safety protocols listed - Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer everywhere, staff wearing masks- and they are all great. I did feel safe. They really doubled down on these features and it showed.
What's To Do (Aside from eating and drinking):
You know, I'm not really a "things to do" kind of person on vacation. I’m more a "lie by the pool with a book and a cocktail" person. But! Playa Del Carmen is right there. The hotel offers concierge services. The Concierge was super helpful with arranging things, like a tour of the cenotes.
Hidden Gems & Annoyances (The Real Truth):
- The "Shrine": There's a small, rather random shrine on the property. I’m not sure why. But it’s there. Feel free to visit.
- The "Convenience Store": Overpriced, but essential for snacks and emergency sunscreen.
- The Staff: Generally friendly and helpful. The folks at the front desk were saints. Big shout out to them.
- The Soundproofing: Pretty good. But… be prepared for the occasional late-night party noise. It is a popular vacation spot after all!
My Quirks & Imperfections: Okay, so the Pets allowed aren't available. I definitely missed my cat during my travel.
The Verdict (The Climax!):
Look, The Fives is a great hotel. It's not perfect, but what is? It's luxurious, it's fun, it's relaxing, and it's in a fantastic location. Would I recommend it? Absolutely. I’d go back in a heartbeat. Final Score: 4.5 out of 5 Stars. (Subtracting half a star for slightly wonky beach access.)
**ESCAPE TO PARADISE OFFER:
Ready to Unwind and Reimagine Your Vacation?
Tired of the same old routine? Craving an escape? Then, book your stay at The Fives Hotel in Playa Del Carmen and experience 5-Star Luxury, with absolutely no worries. We're offering a limited-time deal:
What You Get:
- Exclusive Perks: Upgrade to a room and get access to a pool with a view and the best spots!
- Unbeatable Comfort: Enjoy free Wi-Fi in every room, daily housekeeping, and air conditioning.
- Food & Drink at its Finest: Savor the Breakfast Buffet, restaurants, bars, and room service. Indulge in everything Playa Del Carmen has to offer.
- Relaxation: Relax in the spa, enjoy the pool, or just lay by the beach!
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Escape to Paradise: Luxury CRTris Rooms Await in Seminyak, Bali
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your sanitized, brochure-perfect itinerary. This is… my attempt to wrangle a week at The Fives Beach Hotel, All Senses Inclusive, in Playa del Carmen, Mexico. Prepare for chaos. And maybe, just maybe, a little sunburn regret.
Day 1: Arrival…and a Near-Disaster with a Margarita
- 1:00 PM (ish): Landed in Cancun. Let's just say the customs line felt longer than the actual flight. Already sweating through my "vacation" t-shirt. Found the shuttle, which thankfully did have AC, though the driver seemed intent on winning the world's slowest road race.
- 2:30 PM: Arrived at The Fives. The lobby is… well, it's nice. Too nice. Makes me feel like I should be wearing a blazer, which I definitely did not pack. Check-in was smooth. The bellhop, bless his heart, looked like he'd seen a ghost when he took my suitcase - it's uh… a hefty one. I may have overpacked. (Don’t judge. It's my first all-inclusive!)
- 3:30 PM: Room unlocked! Gorgeous. Ocean view! Okay, maybe this blazer thing isn't so bad. Balcony? Check. Hammock? Double-check! First impressions… chef's kiss.
- 4:00 PM: Poolside. Margarita time! (Or, you know, attempting margarita time). Ordered one, took a HUGE gulp, and… nearly choked. Strongest damn thing I've ever tasted. My face twisted into a prune. The waiter (who looked about 16, bless him) just chuckled. "Welcome to Mexico, señora." I think I'll stick to water for a while.
- 5:00 PM: Actually in the pool. FINALLY. Felt the stress melt away, even with the lingering margarita burn. Watched a family of ducks waddle by. They looked like they knew what they were doing. I didn’t.
- (Later): Dinner at "Sea Olive" (Mediterranean). It was… fine. Pretty, but the food wasn't exactly setting my soul on fire. Service was a little slow, maybe they're still learning? The guy at the next table was VERY loud, but charming. Definitely some good people-watching material there.
- 9:00 PM: Fell asleep face-first into a book. Jet lag is hitting HARD. This is the life, right?… Right?
Day 2: Beach Bumming and a Questionable Lobster Tail
- 8:00 AM: Woke up. Sun already blasting. Made it to the beach, found a comfy spot under a palm tree (victory!). The sand is blindingly white. The ocean is, as they say, "aqua." Pure bliss.
- 9:00 AM-12:00 PM: Full-on beach bumming. Read, napped, watched the waves. Didn't even attempt to speak to anyone, just existing. Found actual quiet time, now I understand the appeal.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch at a beachside grill. Ordered a burger – basic, I know, but I was craving something familiar. It was… surprisingly good! Not gourmet, but satisfying.
- 2:00 PM-4:00 PM: Back to the beach. More reading, more napping. Developed a tan line that'll probably haunt me for the rest of my life.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at the "Catch" lobster tail restaurant. Big mistake. Ordered the lobster. It arrived, massive and impressive-looking, but the texture was… rubbery. And the flavor? Bland. Seriously, I think I enjoyed my burger more. My disappointment was immeasurable, and my day was ruined. (Okay, maybe not ruined, but definitely squashed).
- (Later): Attempted to salvage the night with a stroll on the beach. Ended up getting attacked by sandflies. My legs are a minefield of itchy bites. Lesson learned: Apply DEET. Religiously.
Day 3: Cenotes and the Great Tequila Debacle
- 9:00 AM: Organized excursion! Booked a trip to a cenote (underground cave with fresh water). The tour guide was a real character, told terrible jokes, but I was entertained.
- 10:30 AM: Arrived at the cenote. The water was crystal clear and surprisingly cool. Didn't want to go, but glad I did. The experience was like swimming in a dream. Serene and beautiful.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch with the tour group. Average food, decent company. Met a couple from Ohio who talked incessantly about their grandkids. I love kids and all, but I needed a quiet moment.
- 2:00 PM: Back at the hotel. Felt drained, but in a good way. Enjoyed a short afternoon by the pool.
- 6:00 PM: THE GREAT TEQUILA DEBACLE. Decided to "sample" the resort's tequila selection before dinner. Bad idea. Very bad idea. The tequilas were, let's just say, potent. And, I may have gotten a little… chatty.
- 7:30 PM: Dinner at the Mexican restaurant. Remember none of it. Apparently, I ordered way too much food (including, god help me, a chili pepper that made my mouth feel like it was on fire). Was a very friendly, blurry, and noisy dinner.
- 10:00 PM: Ended up in the lobby bar, singing karaoke. My rendition of "Livin' on a Prayer" was, according to several witnesses, "memorable." (I'm choosing to interpret that as… good?). Woke up with a throbbing headache and a deep sense of shame.
Day 4: A Day of Rest, Redemption, and Maybe a Massage
- 9:00 AM: Miraculously, I woke up. Though, did I really wake up? Took a walk on the beach to clear my head.
- 10:00 AM: Spent the morning nursing a hangover. The Bloody Marys were a godsend. Seriously, if you're ever in this situation, just do it.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch on my own.
- 1:00 PM: Spa time! A massage was exactly what my throbbing head needed. My muscles are now relaxed, and I feel like a new person again.
- 3:00 PM: Lounged by the pool, and watched the sunset.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at the Italian restaurant. Simple, but satisfying. No tequila this time.
- 9:00 PM: Early night. Read a book. Actually read a book. Felt content.
Day 5: Chichen Itza and the Curse of the Tourist Trap
- 7:00 AM: Another excursion! This time, the famed Mayan ruins of Chichen Itza. Woke up before my alarm went off, nervous and excited - maybe this will give me a whole new perspective.
- 9:00 AM: Drove to Chichen Itza. The bus ride was long and hot. The guide was good, but the crowds? Overwhelming. And the vendors? Relentless.
- 11:00 AM: Arrived at Chichen Itza. The pyramid, El Castillo, is impressive, no doubt. The history is incredible, etc., etc. But… the sheer number of tourists (including yours truly) made it difficult to truly appreciate the place.
- 12:00 PM: More vendors. More hawking. More overpriced trinkets. The curse of the tourist trap strikes again.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch at a restaurant near the ruins. Food was overpriced, but the guacamole was good. So, small victories.
- 3:00 PM: Back at the hotel. Felt drained, overwhelmed, and slightly disillusioned. Is the wonder gone? Or am I just getting old?
- 6:00 PM: Got ready for dinner again.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at the Asian restaurant. It was… okay. Nothing special.
- 8:00 PM: Wished for a quiet evening, a drink, and the ability to fast-forward my trip to the flight home.
Day 6: Beach Day, Reflection, and the Dread of Departure
- 9:00 AM: Beach day. Thank God. Needed it. The endless ocean calls to me.
- 9:00 AM-1:00 PM: Actually managed to relax on the beach. Read a good book. The world felt okay again.
- 1:00 PM: Quick bite at the beach bar - some kind of fish tacos. Fresh. Delicious. Finally.
- 2:00 PM- 4:00 PM: More beach bliss. Absorbing the sun, the sand, the sounds of the ocean. Just existing.
Escape to Paradise: The Fives Hotel, Playa del Carmen - Yeah, *Really* Paradise? Let's Unpack This Mess...
Okay, so, The Fives Hotel... Worth the Hype? Seriously?
Rooms: Swanky or… Swanky-ish? What's the Deal?
Food: Will I Get My Money's Worth (And Not Just From the Margaritas?)
Beach Time: Is the Beach Actually Worth the Trip (and All the Sunscreen)?
Pool Scene: Is this Where I'll Spend My Days (and Acquire a Tan)?
Service: Are They Actually Attentive, or Just… Pretending?
Excursions & Activities: Beyond the Pool & Buffet, What's There To Do?
Is it Kid-Friendly? (Should I Bring the Little Monsters?)
My Most Important Question: The Spa! Is it Worth the Splurge?
Final Verdict:Nomadic Stays
