Escape to Paradise: Your Majorcan Dream Awaits at Es Riquers!
Escape to Paradise: Es Riquers - My Majorcan Dream (Almost!) - A Brutally Honest Review
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I just got back from a whirlwind romance with Mallorca (and almost with Es Riquers), and honey, I've got opinions! This isn't your dry, corporate-speak review. This is the real deal, warts and all, sprinkled with a whole lotta "OMG did that really happen?"
First Impressions (and a near-catastrophe)…
Landing in Mallorca felt like stepping into a postcard. Turquoise water, sun-drenched everything, the smell of orange blossoms… glorious! The airport transfer to Es Riquers was smooth (airport transfer – check!), and the first glimpse of the hotel was…wow. Honestly, the photos, they don't even begin to capture the vibe. It's perched up on a hill, overlooking… well, everything. The architecture? Stunning. Think rustic chic meets Mediterranean magic.
Accessibility: Almost Perfect, But…
Now, I wasn't specifically needing wheelchair access, but I always look for it because it shows you are prepared. And here’s where things get a little…wobbly. Es Riquers touts "Facilities for disabled guests" but details are scarce. I'm guessing there are accessible rooms (I hope so!), but the website could really use some specifics on ramps, elevators and whatnot, for anyone who relies on that. Would I go with someone who is in a wheelchair? I’d want more information, for sure. But the layout, with the terraced pools and gorgeous views, might be a challenge. Accessibility - Needs more detail.
Cleanliness & Safety: Feeling Secure (Mostly!)
I’m a bit of a germaphobe, so I’m always watching. Es Riquers clearly takes hygiene seriously. Anti-viral cleaning products, daily disinfection in common areas, hand sanitizer everywhere – check, check, check! I saw the staff frequently cleaning, and I felt pretty safe. The staff is trained in safety protocols, and that's a HUGE plus. The rooms are sanitized between stays, and they even offer a room sanitization opt-out – for any of the eco-conscious folks!! They also have "Individually-wrapped food options" which is fantastic, and while I didn't see it firsthand, they mention "Professional-grade sanitizing services" so fingers-crossed on that one. Plus, they have "Safe dining setup" and all that jazz, which is great for peace of mind. On-site accessible restaurants / lounges Again, I didn't specifically search for this. More details in information is required.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Food Glorious Food (And Occasionally, a Few Hiccups!)
Okay, let's talk food. This is where Es Riquers really shines… well, mostly.
- Restaurants: There are a few (Restaurants – check!). I ate at the main restaurant, which offered a decent (Western cuisine in restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant) spread with a gorgeous view. They also offer a buffet in restaurant, a la carte in restaurant depending on the meal. . The Breakfast (buffet, Asian breakfast, Western breakfast) was a highlight – the pastries were divine, and the fresh fruit was a burst of sunshine. The staff was friendly, attentive, and more than happy to help. I'd also like to point out that they have a Vegetarian restaurant!
- Poolside Bar & Snack Bar: The poolside bar was a godsend. Poolside bar is a godsend when it's hot, they had killer cocktails, and the snack bar served up delicious (and messy) snacks!
- Room Service: Room service [24-hour] - YES! And the food was actually good. Perfect for those late-night cravings.
- Coffee/Tea & Desserts: The coffee/tea in restaurant was excellent. The Desserts in restaurant? Oh. My. God. They were like, a work of art.
BUT… I did experience one slight hiccup… I had a pizza from Room Service. Don't judge. It was late. Apparently, I'd ordered the wrong one. It was kind of… bland. I'm being honest! The staff handled it with grace, and it was quickly explained as a first time order. It was taken off the bill, which was a nice touch.
The bottle of water was a welcome touch, but I was a little sad that I couldn't have a quick Coffee shop run!
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: Paradise Found (Eventually!)
This is where Es Riquers really delivers the goods. They have plenty of ways to help you unwind.
- Swimming Pool: The swimming pool [outdoor] is gorgeous, and the Pool with view is an absolute must-do! I spent hours floating around, staring at the view and doing nothing but thinking. It was pure bliss.
- Spa & Sauna: I'm a sucker for a spa. The Spa, spa/sauna, sauna, Steamroom? Heaven. I indulged in a Body scrub, Body wrap, massage, and I felt like a new person afterward. Honestly, I nearly fell asleep they were so good.
- Fitness Center: I meant to hit the Gym/fitness, Fitness center. I even packed my workout gear. But… the sunshine, the cocktails, the everything… well, let’s just say I didn’t make it. Maybe next time.
- For the Kids: There's a lot to offer for family traveling (Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal) so bring your kids!!
Rooms & Amenities: Comfortable, But Perfection is Elusive
My room was… nice. Think Non-smoking, Air conditioning, Free Wi-Fi, and a balcony with a killer view. Available in all rooms. The bed was comfy, the shower was good, and all of the bathroom amenities were in place.
- Things I loved: Air conditioning, Blackout curtains, Coffee/tea maker, Free bottled water, In-room safe box, Wi-Fi [free], Smoke detector, Toiletries.
- Things that could be improved: The internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless (Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!) was a little spotty at times. And the décor, while stylish, could have used a touch more personality. It was a little… beige. But hey, that's me.
Services & Conveniences: Helpful, But Not Always Smooth Sailing
Es Riquers offers a whole range of services to make your stay easier. Air conditioning in public area, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, On-site event hosting, Safety deposit boxes, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center are all available!
- Concierge: The Concierge was wonderful, helping me with restaurant bookings and arranging a rental car.
- Daily Housekeeping: The Daily housekeeping was excellent. The room was always spotless.
- Cashless Payment Service: The Cashless payment service was a lifesaver.
- The Not-So-Smooth Sailing: I had a little trouble with the Internet (more on that later), and the check-in process (Contactless check-in/out, Check-in/out [express], Check-in/out [private]) could have been smoother. It wasn't terrible, but I definitely stood in line longer than I wanted to.
Internet Access: The Digital Dark Ages (Kidding!… Sort Of)
Okay, this is where I get a little grumpy. The Internet (Internet, Internet [LAN], Internet services, Wi-Fi in public areas, Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!) , while free, was… inconsistent. I'd be trying to post that killer sunset photo to Instagram, and buffer, buffer, buffer. It felt like being back in the dial-up era at times. It wasn't terrible, but for a hotel of this caliber, I expect better. I'm sure it’s something they can address.
For the Kids: I can’t say
I didn’t bring kids, but I did see several, and the babysitting service is available. The Kids facilities, Kids meal, Family/child friendly made it seem like it was a worthwhile experience.
Getting Around:
I didn't have time to explore all of the **getting around (Airport transfer, Bicycle parking, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging
Iceland's Hidden Gem: Unbelievable Eyjolfsstadir Guesthouse!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups! This isn't your glossy, Instagram-filtered travel itinerary. This is the real deal, a messy, glorious, often-chaotic trip to Hotel Rural Es Riquers in Majorca. Consider this my digital journal, complete with coffee stains and existential pondering.
Es Riquers: A Majorca Mess-terpiece (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Slow Pace)
Day 1: Arrival and the Great Olive Oil Debacle
- Time: 9:00 AM (ish) - Actually, let's be honest, more like 10:30 AM. The flight was delayed. Don't even get me started on the airport coffee. It tasted vaguely of despair.
- Activity: Arrived in Palma de Mallorca. Picked up the rental car. (Pro tip: Don't get the smallest car. Those winding mountain roads are no joke.) Found Es Riquers! Honestly, it was like stumbling into a postcard – the sun-drenched stone buildings, the scent of citrus in the air… swoon.
- Emotion: Pure, unadulterated relief. I'd convinced myself the entire trip was cursed.
- Anecdote: Okay, the olive oil. This needs its own section. We were greeted with a welcome basket containing, among other things, a beautiful bottle of local olive oil. I, in my infinite wisdom and jet-lagged haze, decided to transport it in the middle seat of the car. You can imagine the outcome. Turns out, olive oil and twisting mountain roads do not mix. The entire car smelled like a salad dressing factory for the rest of the drive. My husband has not let me live this down.
- Observation: The hotel is ridiculously charming. Like, straight out of a romantic comedy charm. I'm already plotting my escape to the pool with a book and a large glass of something cold.
- Evening: Settled in, explored the grounds (they're enormous!), and had dinner. The food was divine. Local, fresh, and utterly delicious. Though, I may have gotten a little over-enthusiastic with the wine. Let's just say, I woke up feeling a bit like a rogue olive oil bottle myself.
Day 2: The Mountain Hike That Almost Killed Me (But Was Totally Worth It)
- Time: 7:00 AM (After a questionable night's sleep).
- Activity: Hiking! We decided to be adventurous and tackle a trail in the Tramuntana mountains. Big mistake. HUGE.
- Emotion: Initially: pure, unadulterated enthusiasm! Quickly devolved into sweating, panting, and questioning all my life choices.
- Anecdote: The hike was brutal. Seriously, I’m talking nearly vertical inclines. We got lost. Twice. I nearly tripped over a rogue goat (seriously, they're everywhere!). My husband, bless his heart, kept trying to be encouraging, which only made me even more tired. At one point, I just sat down, declared myself done for the day, and threatened to stage a hunger strike.
- Observation: The views from the top? Absolutely breathtaking. Worth the near-death experience? Maybe. Almost. The air was crisp, the mountains rolled on into infinity, and the blue of the sea stretched out before us. It was beautiful. Even I, the whiny hiker, couldn't deny it.
- Evening: Dinner at a tiny, family-run restaurant in a nearby village. The food was rustic and delicious. The owner barely spoke English, but we managed to communicate through hand gestures and laughter. I learned a crucial Spanish phrase: "¡Más vino, por favor!" (More wine, please!)
Day 3: Poolside Paradise and the Pursuit of Doing Absolutely Nothing
- Time: 10:00 AM - Finally!
- Activity: Sunbathing, reading, and generally achieving a state of blissful inertia. The pool at Es Riquers is a dream. Azure water, comfortable loungers, and a complete lack of responsibility.
- Emotion: Pure contentment. I haven't felt this relaxed in, like, a decade.
- Anecdote: I swear, the pool is strategically designed to induce maximum chillaxation. I could probably spend the entire day here and barely move.
- Observation: I have discovered the secret to happiness: a good book, a cold drink, and the sound of cicadas buzzing in the background.
- Evening: Another divine dinner at the hotel. This time, I paced myself with the wine. Success!
Day 4: Exploring Palma and the Art of Being a Tourist (and Failing Gracefully)
- Time: 9:30 AM - We overslept. Shocking, I know.
- Activity: Driving to Palma. Exploring the city. The Cathedral is magnificent!
- Emotion: Initially: Excited. Later: Overwhelmed. Later still: Slightly stressed.
- Anecdote: The city is a maze of narrow streets and hidden squares. We got lost (again!), accidentally stumbled into a market overflowing with olives (more olives!), and nearly ran over a very aggressive pigeon. I was completely frazzled.
- Observation: I'm terrible at being a tourist. I get distracted by shiny things, buy trinkets I don't need, and generally wander around looking bewildered. But, you know what? It's kind of fun.
- Evening: Dinner at a tapas bar. The food was great, the atmosphere lively. Even after a long day, and an olive overload, I felt like I was finally starting to relax.
Day 5: More Rest, More Food, More Wine, and the Reality of Leaving.
- Time: 9:00 AM
- Activities: Pool, walking, and preparing for the next day and going home.
- Emotion: Melancholy.
- Anecdote: Packing is the worst. The olive oil is secured, I’m pretty sure, this time.
- Observation: I think I’ve fallen in love with Majorca.
- Evening: Went to dinner one last time at the hotel. The food was lovely as always, and this time, both my husband and I had a glass of wine to celebrate a lovely trip.
Day 6: Adios, Es Riquers (and the Promise to Return!)
- Time: Way too early
- Activity: A sad breakfast, a final walk around the grounds, a tearful goodbye to the lovely staff, and then…the airport. Ugh.
- Emotion: Mixed. Sad to leave, but also, a bit relieved to get back to real life…and a good night’s sleep.
- Anecdote: I’m already planning our return trip. Next time, I swear, I'm bringing extra sunscreen and a more appropriate car for the mountains.
- Observation: Es Riquers is more than just a hotel. It's an experience. It's a place to recharge, to reconnect, and to embrace the messy, beautiful chaos of life.
- Final Thought: This trip was far from perfect. But it was perfect for me. Thanks, Es Riquers, for the memories (and the olive oil stain on my car interior). See you again soon!
Escape to Paradise: Es Riquers - The Unfiltered Truth (and Maybe a Few Bloody Tears)
Okay, the brochure promises "Paradise." Is Es Riquers *ACTUALLY* Paradise, or just, you know, Mallorca-level-pretty?
Alright, let's be real. Paradise is… a loaded word. I've seen "Paradise" be a cockroach buffet in Bangkok. Es Riquers? It's closer to a dreamy, slightly-sunburnt postcard version of paradise. Think: the kind of place where you wake up GASPING at the view (mountains! turquoise sea! I swear, the sky is a different COLOR there!), but then you remember you forgot sunscreen and your phone charger, so the perfection gets a little… complicated.
Was it paradise? Mostly. Did I cry a little with joy at the first sunset? Absolutely. Did I almost cry at the end when I had to leave? You betcha. But let’s be clear; that sunset was only *truly* savored because I spent the first hour trying to get the wifi to work. See? Reality. Even in paradise.
The website talks about "luxury villas." What's the *actual* vibe? Are we talking butler service, or… DIY beach cleanup?
Oh, "luxury." The word that promises so, so much. The villas *are* lovely, don't get me wrong. We're talking beautiful stone walls, spacious balconies, and a pool that practically begs you to jump in. But "luxury" can mean different things to different people.
It’s not the kind of luxury where you're dodging hovering butlers. It's the kind where you're *mostly* in charge, which I, personally, appreciated. I did witness a truly spectacular (and embarrassing) attempt at lighting the BBQ though... let's just say smoke signals nearly alerted the local police. So maybe a little more self-sufficiency than a full-on Jeeves situation. Still, the "luxury" of being in that space, that view... yeah. Worth it.
I'm picturing myself lounging by the pool with an Aperol Spritz. Is this a realistic expectation?
YES. Absolutely, 100% YES. In fact… GET AHEAD OF THE GAME. Pack the Aperol, the Prosecco, the oranges… I made a mistake, I didn't bring enough. It was a tragedy. I'm getting emotional just thinking about it. The pool is *glorious*. Clear water, perfect temperature. You can easily spend an entire day (or three) drifting between sunbathing and Aperol Spritz consumption.
Just remember to… you know… hydrate. Excess sun + Aperol = headache HELL. Trust me on this. I learned the hard way... and that learning experience involved a lot of very sad, aspirin-fueled lounging in the shade, wishing I'd taken my own advice.
What's the food situation like? Can I survive on local cuisine and deliciousness, or should I pack my own emergency rations of peanut butter?
Oh, the food. This is where Es Riquers REALLY shines. Local cuisine? Absolutely. Deliciousness? Oh, HELL YES. Forget the peanut butter. Embrace the paella, the tapas, the fresh seafood. Seriously, the seafood… I still dream of those prawns. Juicy, perfectly seasoned, cooked to perfection.
There's a little market not too far, and local restaurants. One night we went to a little family run place, and honestly? The best meal of my life. The waiter was just so happy to see us, the whole experience was just so warm and lovely. And, I mean, the food… wow. I'm getting hungry again. Just be prepared for the fact that Spanish mealtimes are… different. Dinner starts late. Embrace the siesta. You'll thank me later.
Are there any downsides? (Because, you know... everything has a downside).
Alright, the not-so-perfect bits. Firstly, the drive to the villa can be… *a journey*. Winding roads, hairpin turns. If you're prone to car sickness, stock up on ginger biscuits. Trust me. I saw my friend's face turn a rather alarming shade of green. Oops. (Shoutout to the ginger biscuits though).
Secondly, the Wi-Fi can be… temperamental. Think of it as a digital detox, whether you like it or not. Embrace a little disconnect. Thirdly, and this is a *minor* thing but still worth mentioning: the mosquitos. Bring repellent. Lots of it. I am now covered in bites, a beautiful reminder of a wonderful time, it is a mess, but I'm here for all of it.
Is it kid-friendly? Because my offspring are… energetic.
Kid-friendly? Yes, absolutely. There's space to run around, the pool is brilliant, and the beaches are lovely. But "energetic offspring"? That changes things. It's not like a pre-planned resort with activities. So, pack a book, a deck of cards, and your patience.
Honestly, depending on the ages, it could be perfect or a living hell. I saw some families there who looked like they were having the time of their lives. I also saw one toddler take down a table and a very expensive bottle of olive oil. So… prepare for anything. Definitely bring floaties. Maybe invest in earplugs. And lots of snacks. Okay, ALL the snacks.
What's the best thing about Es Riquers? What will stick with me?
The best thing? The *feeling*. The sheer, unadulterated relaxation. The way the sun hits your skin. The taste of the food. The view, which honestly, I think I still miss. I still have the memory of that first morning, I stood on that balcony, drink in hand, staring out at the sea... I could have died happy right then and there!
I'll carry that memory with me. The quiet mornings. The sunset swims. The laughter, the tears (happy and sad, let's be honest). It's not just a villa; it's an experience. It's a chance to recharge. And, honestly, after the year I’ve had, I needed it. So badly. And yeah, I am already planning my return. Shhh, don't tell anyone.
