Las Caletas Village: Lanzarote's Hidden Paradise—Uncover Its Secrets!
Las Caletas Village: Lanzarote's Hidden Paradise – Uncovered (and Unravelled!)
Alright, let's talk about Las Caletas Village. Lanzarote. Hidden Paradise, they say? Well, I'm back from a week there, and I'm ready to spill the beans (and maybe the sangria… or three…) on this supposedly secret sanctuary. Buckle up, folks, because this review is gonna be less brochure and more… well, me.
Accessibility: The Great Leveling
Okay, let's be real, travel with any kind of mobility issue can be a nightmare. Finding truly accessible places is like searching for a decent cup of coffee at some all-inclusive buffets (spoiler alert: good luck!).
- Accessibility: (The "tick-box" bit, I guess.) They do say they have facilities for disabled guests. This means the elevator mostly works (more on that later), and there are ramps. However, I'm not going to pretend to be an expert, but I did see folks using wheelchairs navigate the place. It seems decent. I'd recommend calling them directly to double-check specific needs because sometimes a "ramp" is a glorified speedbump.
- Getting Around: Free parking onsite. Score! And a taxi if needed, although, in theory, you're supposed to arrange your airport transfer. I would suggest the taxi or a pre-booked shuttle. Walking with luggage in the blazing sun? No. Just, no.
The Sanctum of Serenity (aka: Spa Day and Beyond!)
Okay, deep breath. Here we go. Full disclosure: I'm a sucker for a good spa. And this place…well, it had me at "Pool with a View." Seriously.
- Spa & Relaxation: This is where Las Caletas really shines. They have it all. Sauna, Steamroom, and a full-blown spa. They offer Body scrubs, body wraps, massages which are a must! Let me tell you, after a week of hiking around the volcanic landscape (more on that – it’s stunning, but it also kills your legs), the massage was pure, unadulterated bliss. The kind that makes you moan a little (okay, a lot). It’s worth the investment. Seriously. Invest.
- Pool with a View: Speaking of investments… the main pool area. The view! I mean, wow. It's like something out of a magazine. You're perched on the edge of the cliffs, overlooking the ocean. Absolutely gorgeous. And the pool itself? Clean, refreshing, just perfect.
- Fitness Center: A tiny gym, but it had the basics. Enough to sweat out those extra tapas.
- Foot Bath: Sadly, I did not partake as I was busy soaking in the massage, but one on offer!
Cleanliness and Safety: The Pandemic Edition (Important!)
Let’s face it, the world is still a bit…weird. So, let’s talk about staying safe:
- The Good Stuff: They really go the extra mile. Anti-viral cleaning products, daily disinfection, sanitizing stations everywhere, and professional-grade sanitizing services. You see staff cleaning constantly. They take it seriously.
- More Good: They have individually-wrapped food options (huge thumbs up!), safe dining setups. They've got hand sanitizer everywhere, and staff trained in safety protocols.
- My Observation: This place felt clean. Like, properly and genuinely clean. I actually felt safer there than in some places at home. They are serious about health.
- Rooms Sanitized Between Stays: This is reassuring, but what I really noticed was the lack of the overpowering smell of disinfectant. It felt fresh, not like a hospital.
- Rooms Sanitization Opt-Out Available: Giving peace of mind.
- Cashless Payment Service: Easy and efficient.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: The Foodie's Confession (Mostly Positive!)
Okay, I'm picky. Very picky. But even I have to admit, the food at Las Caletas was…well, surprisingly good!
- Restaurants and Bars: Several options. Restaurants, a poolside bar, and a snack bar. The service, the food, the ambience, they are all pretty good.
- The Food:
- Breakfast: The breakfast buffet was decent. They offered the Western breakfast, Asian breakfast, and Asian cuisine in the restaurant. You can get your fill here.
- Lunch/Dinner: International Cuisine in the restaurant. I’m a sucker for a good salad, and their’s were fresh. I did the A la carte a couple of times. It was really good.
- Coffee/Tea in restaurants
- Desserts in restaurants: Yes!
- Bottle of water, Essential Condiments
- The "Almost" Imperfection:
- I have to give a shoutout to the poolside bar. I spent a lot of time there. And for the extra bit of relaxation? Room service [24-hour]. Amazing.
- Happy Hour is a must, so do not be late.
Services and Conveniences: Bits and Bobs of Greatness
- The Handy Things:
- Concierge (super helpful).
- Daily housekeeping (your room sparkles!)
- Luggage storage
- Gift/souvenir shop
- Currency exchange
- Cash withdrawal
- The Not-So-Exciting-But-Necessary:
- Elevator. (Mostly works!)
- Dry cleaning, Laundry service, and Ironing service (for when you realise you packed purely for comfort, not style.)
- Business Facilities (Xerox/fax in the business center)
For the Kids & Family Moments:
- Family/child-friendly: Yes.
- Babysitting service: Yes.
- Kids facilities: Yes.
Rooms, Glorious Rooms! (My Sanctuary)
Now, the rooms… this is where Las Caletas really nails it. I stayed in a Non-smoking room (my lungs thanked me).
- The Perks:
- Free Wi-Fi! (and it actually works!)
- Air conditioning (a lifesaver in the Lanzarote heat).
- Blackout curtains (essential for lazy mornings).
- Coffee/tea maker in the room (crucial for my survival).
- Mini bar (stocked… with the essentials).
- Private bathroom.
- Bathroom phone (why? I have no idea, but it’s there).
- High floor
- Internet access – wireless
- Internet access – LAN
- Additional toilet
- Bathrobes (fancy!)
- Bathtub
- Carpeting
- Closet
- Complimentary tea
- Desk
- Extra long bed
- Free bottled water
- Hair dryer
- In-room safe box
- Interconnecting room(s) available
- Ironing facilities
- Laptop workspace
- Linens
- Mirror
- On-demand movies
- Reading light
- Refrigerator
- Safety/security feature
- Satellite/cable channels
- Scale
- Seating area
- Separate shower/bathtub
- Shower
- Slippers
- Smoke detector
- Socket near the bed
- Sofa
- Soundproofing
- Telephone
- Toiletries
- Towels
- Umbrella
- Visual alarm
- Wake-up service
- Window that opens
- The Imperfection:
- The Alarm Clock. I thought about it a lot. In my room, it was old school. Maybe it’s just me, but I felt like I was back in the 90s. The worst part? I couldn’t fathom how it worked. But that's just me.
Safety/Security:
- CCTV in common areas
- CCTV outside property
- Fire extinguisher
- Front desk [24-hour]
- Non-smoking rooms
- Room decorations
- Safety/security feature
- **Security [24
Alright, buckle up, buttercups! Because we're about to dive headfirst into the sun-kissed, volcanic-rock-strewn (and probably ridiculously overpriced) wonderland that is Las Caletas Village in Lanzarote. This isn't a meticulously planned, Pinterest-perfect itinerary, no siree. This is a messy, gloriously human account of how I would probably experience it. Prepare yourselves.
Day 1: Arrival & Initial Panic (Because, Let's Be Real)
- Morning (ish): Arrive at Lanzarote Airport. Okay, first impression: everything is that stark white. Like, teeth-whitening commercial white. Gorgeous, granted, but I'm already feeling the sun's wrath. Finding a transfer…that's where the fun begins, right? Right. Hopefully, I won't end up in a ditch. Remember that one time in [insert embarrassing travel story here… like getting lost in Prague even with a map.]? Yeah, flashbacks already.
- Afternoon: Check in to Las Caletas. Fingers crossed the room actually matches the alluring pictures online. Let's hope there aren't any surprise "garden views" looking directly at a rusty shed. First impressions matter, so I'll be sure to scope it out properly. Find the essentials (pool? Bar? Where's the bar?). Deep breaths. Okay, so the pool does look like something out of a Bond film. Excellent. And yes, the bar is conveniently located. Phew.
- Evening: Stumble, slightly sun-dazed, into a restaurant. Okay, choices, choices. I'll be the first to admit, I’m a food adventurer. But also, my budget and stomach capabilities are limited, so I’ll have to navigate the menu carefully. Hopefully, I find something that's actually worth the price. And no, I'm not ordering the lobster. Because, the lobster is always a trap. Try the local Canarian potatoes. Hope they've got mojo sauce. Let's be honest, I'm judging the whole place on its mojo sauce.
- Post-Dinner Rambles: After dinner, a quick stroll…the light is weird! It's that golden hour stuff, the kind that makes everything look like it's been through a filter. I'll probably feel compelled to take a million photos, that will likely result in a collection of mediocre shots.
Day 2: Sun, Sea (Maybe), and Self-Doubt
- Morning: Attempt to be a "morning person" and hit the beach. Keyword: attempt. I am, by nature, a sloth. Getting out of bed is a Herculean feat. But fine, I'll do it. The sea? Looks…cold. Okay, maybe just a toe dip. Don't want any sea creatures munching on my feet first thing.
- Afternoon: Poolside lounging. This is where I excel. Book in hand (pretending to read something intellectual), large sunhat firmly in place (protecting my ginger skin), and a cocktail that's probably 90% ice. I'll assess the other guests. Are they happy? Are they judging me? Am I judging them? The eternal holiday dilemma.
- Evening: THE COOKING CLASS. OH. MY. GOD. Now, this is where things could go spectacularly right… or hilariously wrong. I signed up for a paella cooking class and I’m utterly terrified. I can vaguely cook a microwave meal, does that count? I'm envisioning a chaotic scene of me burning the rice, the instructor sighing dramatically, and the other guests politely trying not to make eye contact with the culinary disaster that is me. But! Maybe, just maybe, I'll surprise myself. Maybe I'll discover a hidden talent for stirring giant pots of seafood. (Highly unlikely, but a girl can dream, right?) I'll try to act like I know what I'm doing. Pretend! Pretend!
- (Post-Cooking Class Debrief): So, the paella. Let's just say Gordon Ramsay wouldn't be thrilled. There was a lot of smoke. A lot of frantic stirring. And a distinct lack of perfectly cooked rice. But! It was edible. And the laughter? The laughter was definitely worth the price of admission. My ego may be bruised, but my stomach is full, and that’s what truly matters. Plus, the other guests, bless their souls, pretended to enjoy it. Victory!
Day 3: Exploring (or at Least Trying To)
- Morning: Decide to be adventurous. Rent a car! (Cue my innate anxiety. Driving on the "wrong" side of the road? In a foreign country? God, what have I done?). Head to Timanfaya National Park (fingers crossed I don't drive into a volcano). Observe the moonscape, wow. Probably make a lot of "is this Mars?" jokes.
- Afternoon: Get lost. Because, you know, vacation. Somehow manage to find a charming little cafe. Eat far too many pastries and drink some genuinely overpriced coffee. Justifying the expense because, "I'm on holiday!"
- Evening: Back at the Village, maybe a nice relaxed dinner at the hotel. Contemplate the merits of another cocktail (probably will). Reflect on the day's adventures. Maybe, just maybe, I did something that counts as "exploring." Or, more likely, ended up somewhere entirely by accident. Either way, it’s all part of the fun, right? Right?
Day 4: Relaxation & Departure Anxiety
- Morning: Sleep in! Need to recharge after all that exploring. Maybe a spa treatment. Or, you know, just laze around the pool again. No judgement.
- Afternoon: Last-minute souvenir shopping. Panic sets in. How much time (and money) do I have left? Buy a tacky fridge magnet. It's tradition. Start packing. Sigh dramatically. Because ending the vacation is a tragedy, and I'm already dreading going home.
- Evening: Final, poignant dinner. Trying to savor the last moments. Make a mental note to come back. Watch, most likely some bad entertainment. Maybe try to memorize the taste of that delicious mojo sauce.
- (Pre-Flight Freakout): Pack my bags. Check and recheck all my belongings. Panic about the flight. Wonder if I'll make it through security without a full-blown meltdown. Realize I forgot to buy someone a proper present. Vow to return. Maybe with better packing skills next time.
And so, the story ends… for now. Las Caletas, you were beautiful, frustrating, hilarious, and utterly unforgettable. I've probably gained weight, spent too much money, and made a fool of myself at least once. Perfection. Now, back to reality… until the next adventure! (And maybe I'll actually learn to cook paella before then… maybe…)
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Las Caletas Village FAQs: Lanzarote's Hidden Paradise...or Is It Just a Pretty Brochure?
Okay, so...Las Caletas. What's the Big Deal?
Right, the big deal. Well, the idea is a luxurious, secluded escape on Lanzarote's coast. Think whitewashed villas clinging to the cliffs, infinity pools glistening under the Canarian sun, and a general vibe of "we've escaped the real world, darling." The brochures promise a personal chef, private beach access... the whole shebang. And, yeah, it’s actually pretty stunning. The first time I saw it, my jaw genuinely hit the floor. That view? Unbelievable.
But...and there's always a but, isn't there? We'll get to that. Let's just say, reality and the brochure aren't always *exactly* the same.
Is it actually *hidden*? Because, let's be honest, "hidden" usually just means expensive.
Haha! You know what? You're not wrong. "Hidden" might as well be code for "prepare to mortgage your firstborn." Technically, yes, it's tucked away and requires a bit of a drive. You won't just stumble upon it. It's definitely not plastered all over the tourist hotspots. But the internet, well, the internet knows *everything*, doesn't it? And word of mouth, of course. So hidden? Maybe kinda, sorta. Exclusive? Absolutely. Expensive? OH. MY. GOD. Yes.
I remember trying to convince my partner that it was "a bargain!" I was lying through my teeth. But the pictures... the pictures! I was desperate to go, even if it meant eating instant noodles for a month. (Worth it, by the way. Kinda.)
The Villas - Worth the Price Tag?
Okay, the villas. These are the real stars. They're gorgeous. Like, seriously stunning. Imagine: crisp white walls, huge windows, private terraces, your own little slice of paradise. The decor is all minimalist chic – think natural wood, fluffy white towels, and a total lack of clutter. They're designed to take your breath away.
And the pools! Oh, the pools. I swear, I spent half my time just floating, staring at the ocean. It was pure bliss. But… here's the thing. The "small details" can sometimes…miss the mark. I mean, you *do* have to share the pool with guests. That was a minor downer. And I'm not sure if I'd say they're worth the *insane* price tag. Like I said, instant noodles for a month… that’s a commitment.
Oh, and the "personal chef"? He was lovely, bless him, and the food was delicious, but he seemed a bit…stressed? I’m pretty sure he ran out of the special olive oil that has the flavor from the sun. Not good.
What's the food like? Personal Chef and all that jazz?
The food... mixed bag, honestly. The chef *was* talented, I'll give him that. Fresh seafood grilled to perfection, incredible paella (when he had all the ingredients!), and the breakfasts were *divine*. I'm still dreaming of the freshly squeezed orange juice.
But here's the thing: you're still at the chef's mercy. He had to buy the groceries. You might find yourself eating the same thing repeatedly. And one day, he was *late*. Seriously late. We were starving! (Okay, maybe I'm being dramatic, but hunger makes you…well…hangry.) He apologized profusely, explaining the shop had been out of a particular ingredient. Still... made me question the whole luxury thing for a moment. Plus there's the pressure to tip him well. That adds up too. Ugh.
The Beach - Is it any good?
Okay, here's where things get a bit... tricky. The "private beach access" advertised? Well, it *is* there. Technically. But it's more like a rocky cove with a few sun loungers. The sea can be a little rough on some days. Fine really. Lovely views. But it's not the pristine, white-sand beach of your Instagram dreams. Actually, it’s a pretty good snorkeling spot! Which is a positive.
One time, a rogue wave came and soaked my book. It was a first edition! Okay, I'm being dramatic. But it was still annoying. So, yeah, the beach. Manage your expectations.
What about activities? Is there more to do than sip cocktails by the pool (which, let's be honest, sounds heavenly)?
Yes, there *is* more. Kinda. They offer various excursions – boat trips, volcano tours, etc. But honestly? I’d recommend renting a car and exploring Lanzarote yourself. There's the Timanfaya National Park (the volcanoes are incredible), the Jameos del Agua (a stunning volcanic cave turned into an art and concert space), and some gorgeous little fishing villages. You're paying a premium already, you might as well see the *island*, right? A guided tour is fine, but a bit… structured. And I'm not sure what all the fuss is about the boat trip.
Plus the pool...it is a *very* compelling reason to stay put. Just saying.
Any Hidden Gems or Annoying Quirks?
Hidden gems…hmm. The sunsets are ridiculously beautiful. No contest. And the staff, mostly, are incredibly friendly and helpful. I accidentally locked myself out of my villa (don't ask), and they sorted it out with a smile, even though it was probably my fault.
Annoying quirks… the Wi-Fi can be a bit patchy (prepare to be disconnected from the world, which, for some, could be a *good* thing). The prices for drinks at the bar are… well let's just say they’re not cheap. And be prepared for the occasional "luxury tax." You know, those little extra charges that pop up andMountain Stay
