Lisbon Luxury: Comtesse Lisbonne Apartment - Your Dream Getaway Awaits!
Lisbon Luxury: Comtesse Lisbonne Apartment - My Dream Getaway… or Not? A Brutally Honest Review (with a Few Tears & a Whole Lot of Wi-Fi)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I've just returned from the fabled Comtesse Lisbonne Apartment. "Your Dream Getaway Awaits!" the website chirped. Let's just say my "dream getaway" involved a lot of coffee, a near-meltdown trying to figure out the shower, and enough free Wi-Fi to upload my entire life story (which, technically, you're about to read a condensed version of).
First Impressions: Swanky vs. Slightly Suspect
Right, so, the Comtesse. It looks the part. Gleaming marble floors, a lobby that screams "expensive," and staff so polished they could probably reflect the sun. But… and there's always a but, isn't there? This is not a straightforward ride, I learned.
Accessibility: Listed as having "facilities for disabled guests." Now, I'm not disabled, but I did notice there's an elevator (phew!), and the common areas are generally okay. Getting to the apartment, though, felt a bit like a treasure hunt. Some narrow hallways, a few awkward steps… It's not bad, but not exactly the smooth sail they promise. (Grade: C+)
Cleanliness and Safety: Okay, this is where they really shine. COVID-era paranoia is clearly being taken seriously. Hand sanitizer everywhere. Staff in masks. Daily disinfection of the common areas (I saw them, with my own two eyes!). My room felt hospital-grade clean. The rooms themselves seem to get some professional-grade sanitizing, which is a good thing. So, they seem to pay attention. (Grade: A+)
The Room: My Private Fortress… or Overpriced Box?
My apartment? Ah, the apartment. It was… lovely. Let's start there. And let's be brutally honest from there.
Available in All Rooms: Air conditioning (THANK GOD!), a surprisingly comfy bed, and a killer view (more on that later). I'm not picky. There's Air conditioning! Great.
Internet Access: My lifeline! Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Praise the internet gods! And it was good. Really, really good. I spent hours streaming, working, and generally avoiding human interaction. They also have LAN connections, for those of you who are still living in the 90s. (Grade: A)
The Extra Stuff: The mini-bar was present and accounted for (read: expensive), and there was free bottled water. Small mercies. Bathrobes and slippers are always appreciated. (Grade: B+)
The Bathroom: This is where things got… interesting. The shower? More like a confusing contraption. I almost flooded the bathroom on day one. After several panicked attempts, I finally figured it out. The water pressure? Divine. The separate shower/bathtub? A definite win. (Grade: B-, because of the shower drama)
Safety/Security: Smoke detectors? Check. Safe box? Check. Security 24/7? Check. I could leave all my worldly belongings with the feeling of at least some comfort.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: For the Love of Food!
Listen, I love food. This is important. And the Comtesse offers… options.
- Breakfast: The "Asian breakfast" caught my eye. Alas, the real breakfast (buffet style) was my haven. Delicious, varied, and perfect for loading up on carbs before exploring Lisbon. Also got the chance to check out the "Vegetarian restaurant" and the "Coffee shop". This is good. (Grade: A-)
- Room Service: 24-hour room service? Yes, please! (Especially after that shower incident.) The menu was pretty comprehensive, and the food was… alright. Nothing to write home about, but a lifesaver when you're too tired to leave your comfy, internet-enabled box. Got me through many a tough moment. (Grade: B)
- Restaurants: There were multiple restaurants to choose from. The "Happy hour" was especially appealing after a long day. This is good. (Grade: B+)
Things to Do and Ways to Relax: Where's the Spa?!?!
Okay, this is where the "Luxury" title is supposed to kick in.
Fitness Center: A gym. Okay, great. I didn't go. Let's be honest, I was too busy eating pastries and watching Netflix.
Spa/Sauna: This is my jam. I wanted a massage, a sauna, a full body scrub! The website promises all this. Except… I couldn't quite track down the spa. They apparently do spa activities, but not in the way I hoped. I am not sure. It looked good on the pictures, at least. (Grade: C-, because no spa is a tragedy.)
Pool with View: Ah, the outdoor swimming pool. Seriously, you can see the city here. I spent a glorious afternoon basking in the sun, feeling impossibly smug. (Grade: A+)
Services and Conveniences: The Good, the Bad, and the Elevator
Staff: The folks at the front desk were generally lovely. Helpful, polite, and spoke excellent English. The concierge was also a godsend for booking tours and making restaurant recommendations.
Laundry and Dry Cleaning: Yep, did both. Efficient and not hideously expensive.
Concierge: Wonderful. They really do try to help.
Accessibility: An elevator.
For the Kids: Not so much, unless…
- There's babysitting and family-friendliness. But the vibe felt more sophisticated adult than "kiddie paradise."
Getting Around: Navigating Lisbon's Hills (and My Own Emotions)
Airport Transfer: They sorted out the airport transfer, and it was painless.
Car Park: Car park is on-site.
Taxi Service: Taxi service is available.
Final Verdict: Dream Getaway? Maybe, With a Few Caveats
Look, the Comtesse Lisbonne Apartment is a solid choice. It's clean, conveniently located, and has some serious wow factor. I would rate it a solid 4 stars. However, the lack of a proper spa (for me!), the slightly confusing bathroom, and the mild accessibility issues prevent it from being a perfect dream. Still, for the price…
My advice: Go there. Embrace the chaos, get lost wandering the city, and soak up the charm. Just be prepared to find the shower, and maybe bring your own spa.
- Price: The price could be better, but the high quality and value for money are present.
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Okay, buckle up, buttercups. This isn't your grandma's pristine itinerary. This is the real Lisbon, lived and breathed, from the squeaky floors of Comtesse Lisbonne - Apartment G to the depths of my soul (and possibly my stomach after those pastéis de nata).
Comtesse Lisbonne - Apartment G: My Lair (and Temporary Home)
Day 1: Arrival & Immediate Panic
- 14:00 - Check-in Disaster: Okay, "disaster" is a bit dramatic. More like "slightly flustered". Finding the apartment was a quest. Google Maps kept leading me down alleyways that looked suspiciously like they were last cleaned in the 18th century. Finally, I stumble into the Comtesse Lisbonne building, breathing a sigh of relief. The key situation, however? The lock was a grumpy old thing.
- 14:30 - Apartment Assessment: Apartment G. A charming mishmash of old and new. The wallpaper? Questionable, but in a "so bad, it's good" kind of way. The balcony? Heaven. I immediately plunked down on the tiny balcony, clutching a lukewarm water bottle. Lisbon, baby, I'm here!
- 15:00 - The Mandatory Coffee Pilgrimage: Found a tucked-away café called "A Brasileira." Tourist trap? Maybe. But the coffee? Oh, sweet, caffeinated glory. The waiter, a man who looked like he’d seen a thing or two, just winked and said, "Welcome to Lisboa, senhora."
- 16:00 - The "Lost Tourist" Walkabout: Okay, this wasn't planned. I ended up following a particularly enticing cobblestone street. The world dissolved into bright sun, the smell of salt and baking bread, and the incessant sound of those infernal trams. Ended up in Rossio Square, disoriented, buzzing with energy, and thoroughly in love.
- 19:00 - Dinner at "Time Out Market": This is where the itinerary, and my stomach, truly kicks in. This is the biggest food hall in the city, showcasing everything. I ate so much. So, so much. The octopus salad? Forget about it. The pork sandwiches? Gone in seconds. I swear, I could feel my arteries hardening, but I didn't care.
- 21:00 - Sunset from Miradouro de Santa Luzia: So, there it is: postcard perfection. The red roofs, the water, the azulejos tiles… the sheer beauty of Lisbon. I nearly cried. Don't judge me. It's emotional, ok?
Day 2: Tram Trauma & Tile Temptation
- 9:00 - Attempting Tram 28: Okay, so everyone tells you to take Tram 28. Apparently, it's charming, historic, and a must-do. They failed to mention the crush of humanity. I swear, I saw a woman trying to squeeze a small dog into her purse. Ended up standing the whole time, getting jostled, and feeling like a sardine. Worth it? Maybe. But I need a stronger coffee.
- 10:30 - Tile Bliss at the Museu Nacional do Azulejo: This place? Wow. It’s one thing to see tiles; it's another to be completely surrounded by them. They're beautiful, telling stories, and completely hypnotic. I could've lost myself – and maybe did a little.
- 13:00 - Lunch Fiasco (and Recovery): Decided to get ambitious (or as I like to call it, monumentally stupid) and try a restaurant that had a line around the block. After an hour of waiting, it turned out they were out of the dish I REALLY wanted. Ended up in a tiny, hole-in-the-wall place, eating a perfect plate of grilled sardines. Lesson learned: embrace the unexpected.
- 15:00 - Exploring Alfama (and Getting Lost Again): Alfama. The oldest district. The narrow streets. The Fado music wafting from doorways… I got delightfully, utterly lost. And loved every second of it. Found a tiny shop selling vintage postcards and a woman hawking homemade ginginha (cherry liqueur). One shot turned in three…
- 18:00 - The Great Pastel de Nata Hunt: Okay, this is serious business. I’m on a mission to find the best pastel de nata in Lisbon. Started with a place I was told to go - Pastéis de Belém. The line was epic, but the pastries? The custard was golden, the crust was perfect. I ate three. Don't judge.
- 20:00 - Fado Performance: Found a cozy, intimate place. The music was haunting, beautiful, and completely broke my heart (in a good way). I didn't understand all the words, but the emotions? Loud and clear.
Day 3: Day Trip Debacle (Queluz & Sintra) & Goodbye Lisbon
8:00 - Train to Queluz and Sintra: I woke up feeling optimistic! I had coffee, a plan, And I would explore Queluz Palace and Sintra Palace!
9:00 - Queluz Palace: The palace was beautiful! All gold, and mirrors, and everything! It was a little too much for me! I thought it was beautiful but I don't think I would live there. I was over stimulated…I went to the gardens to get away.
11:00 - Sintra: Ok, so Sintra is, without a doubt, beautiful. Pena Palace is like something out of a Disney movie. But the crowds… OMG, the crowds. I felt like I was moving at the pace of a snail. I spent half the day just… waiting. Waiting for a bus. Waiting in line. Waiting to breathe.
15:00 - Back to Lisbon.* The rest of the day was spent wandering, eating gelato, and trying to find a quiet spot. I had a last dinner and then, back to the apartment to pack.
20:00 - Departure for Airport Time to leave… I have never been so happy and sad at the same time. Lisbon is a fantastic city!
Quirky Observations & Random Thoughts:
- Cobblestones: My ankles are definitely protesting.
- The Portuguese People: Friendly, helpful, and they somehow manage to make even the most mundane tasks look stylish.
- The Light: It's breathtaking. Everything seems to glow.
- Those damn trams: Still fascinating, even if they’re a sardine can.
- I need to learn some Portuguese. "Obrigada" and "cerveja, por favor" just aren't cutting it.
Emotional Reactions & Confessions:
- I've laughed until my sides hurt.
- I've gotten teary-eyed over a sunset.
- I've eaten more than is probably healthy.
- I'm completely, utterly, and irrevocably in love with this city.
Overall, Lisbon is NOT the perfect vacation. It's the best kind. It's messy, chaotic, and full of surprises. And that's what makes it so damn wonderful. I'll be back. You can count on it.
Riviera Maya Family Paradise: Catamaran, Aqua Nick & ALL-Inclusive Fun!
Lisbon Luxury: Comtesse Lisbonne Apartment - Your Dream Getaway Awaits! (Okay, Let's Be Real...)
So, is this Comtesse Lisbonne place *really* as dreamy as the photos? Because, let's be honest, Instagram lies.
Okay, alright. Let's talk reality. The photos? Stunning. The apartment? ...Pretty darn close. Look, I've stayed in places that promised a "panoramic view" and delivered a brick wall. Comtesse Lisbonne? The view from *that* balcony? Worth the hype. It *is* exactly what you see... or at least, 90% of it. The remaining 10%? You're not getting the smell of freshly baked Pastel de Nata wafting up from the bakery downstairs, which is, I might add, a HUGE plus.
And here's the dirt: I’m not a morning person. I mean, I *hate* mornings. But that balcony? The sun rising over Lisbon? I’m talking actual tears. Okay, maybe just a watery eye from the sheer beauty. But still! That's the kind of magic you can't Photoshop. I even saw some seagulls! Seagulls! They're usually grumpy, but I swear those were some happy seagulls, basking in the Lisbon light. See? *That's* not in the brochure.
Okay, fancy-pants. What's the deal with the location? Is it actually convenient, or are you hiking up a hill like a medieval pilgrim every time you want a latte?
Location, location, location! And yes, it's good. Very, very good. It's in a trendy area, but *not* the kind that makes you feel like you’re in a permanent tourist trap. You can walk to everything, or at least stumble in the general direction. The trams are close (though, be warned, they're like sardines in a tin can during rush hour, so plan accordingly - OR, like me, embrace the claustrophobia and laugh at the frantic pushing).
Real talk though? Some of the streets are steep. Lisboetas have thighs of steel, I swear. But think of it as free cardio! Look, one day I was *convinced* I was going to die climbing up the hill from the Time Out Market (which, by the way, you *must* go to - food heaven!). I almost threw in the towel and flagged down a cab. But I persevered! And now? My glutes thank me. (My lungs, maybe not so much).
Also, I wandered off course one night, and ended up in what looked like a local bar. Nobody was there at first, I swear. One friendly bartender, and then, out of nowhere, BOOM: a bunch of people. They got me singing some Portuguese song with the lyrics "something about the ocean" and shared a bottle of something fire-y with me. My memory of the specifics... well, let's just say they ended up ordering me a taxi home... which ended up at the wrong apartment building, so I had to walk up a hill to get in. But it was worth it!
The apartment itself – what are we *really* getting? Is it actually luxurious? Or is it just "luxury" in the Airbnb sense, which often means "slightly nicer than a hostel"?
Alright, let’s get picky. Luxurious? Yes. But not in a "gold-plated taps and a butler who judges your every move" kind of way. More like, "tastefully decorated, with incredibly comfortable beds, and a real sense of calm" kind of luxury. The linen sheets? Seriously divine. I slept like a baby, which is saying something because I'm a terrible sleeper.
There's a fully equipped kitchen, but I confess, I barely used it. (See: Pastel de Nata wafting up from the bakery.) There were a couple of really good plates. The showers are excellent. No dodgy pressure or temperature fluctuations – which is a HUGE win. My only gripe? The towels... they weren't *quite* as fluffy as I'd like. (I'm a towel snob, I admit it. So sue me!)
But I'd be lying if I didn't say I was a little disappointed when I tried to use the coffee machine. It was one of those fancy ones with all the buttons. And I *failed*. Miserably. Ended up with a watery, flavorless mess. (Maybe I need a masterclass on Portuguese coffee). Anyway, it was fine because they have the bakery downstairs. And their coffee? *Chef's kiss*.
What about the practical stuff? Is it easy to get the keys? Is there Wi-Fi? Airport transfers? Stuff that *actually* matters, right?
Yup. All that boring, essential stuff? They handle it. Key pickup and drop-off were a breeze. Wi-Fi? Strong and reliable (unlike me, after those fire-y drinks). Airport transfer? Easy-peasy. They've got it all sorted.
I've dealt with some truly awful Airbnb hosts in the past. People who seem to actively *try* to make your life difficult. This was the polar opposite. Responsive, helpful, and utterly professional. Which, after a long haul flight, is pure gold.
Even the small details were spot-on. They left a welcome basket. And not just the usual stale biscuits and instant coffee. Think local wine, some delicious snacks. It was a thoughtful touch, and I felt properly welcomed. And let's be honest, after the airport I definitely needed some wine.
Okay, let's talk about the negatives. There *have* to be some, right? What sucked?
Alright, let's be honest: no place is perfect. My biggest (and only) gripe? The noise. Lisbon is a lively city, and the apartment is in a lively area. It's not overwhelmingly loud, but you do hear the street. Especially at night. It's not a silent, sleepy sort of place. Think of it as "authentic Lisbon" sound. You *will* hear some chatter, the occasional car horn, maybe a busker. If you're a super light sleeper, pack earplugs.
The other thing? I went in winter. And while it was a gorgeous mild winter, it was still winter. And some of the older building style? They got a bit cold, initially. It warmed up quickly. But take a sweater with you, you'll appreciate it. It was all fine, really.
I guess I wasn't a fan of the tiny bit of mold in the bathroom (again, old building). But I'm being nit-picky. It's probably a common thing over there. Still not good. Still not a deal-breaker. But, you know... it's worth noting. But it'll all quickly be forgotten the instant you walk out the door.
Final verdict: Would you stay there again?
Without a doubt. Absolutely, unequivocally, YES. Ignoring that bit about the mold in the bathroom, which let's be honest, I'm probably remembering wrong. Comtesse Lisbonne is a *fantastic* base for exploring a truly amazing city. The locationHotel Whisperer
